Debbie does my head in

I'm fast becoming tired of people saying to me that things are too hard, or giving me reasons why they can't do something. Atleast when I say 'I don't know if I can do this' there is a window of opportunity. A fathomable percentage that 'yes i can'. I'm not talking about people being able to fly off their family homes, or build a raft out of spider legs and match boxes, but, no wait. Actually I am. I am talking about these things. That's precisely what I'm talking about. Solving problems. Fuck it. If you can rip the legs off a billion spiders and combine those with the ever shapeable when wet matchbox, you indeed can build that raft. And it will float. And if you choose to flap your wings and glide toward the sky from the shingles of your parents rooftop, well it is more possible than not. You just need to agree in your heart that you can, and you most certainly will. I'm not really sure if paw paw can cure cancer and I'm not sure if your pet rabbit can shapeshift into a grandfather clock, but if you say you can, you can.

I told myself today about half an hour into my 3D class that i couldn't do it, and i didn't. I'm so fucking disappointed with myself. One of my only favourite classmates didn't sit next to me today, so the whingy whiney little teenage gossip girls did and my blood began to boil. I knew the minute their folios hit the desk that I was in for it. I left the building in complete rage. My thoughts were ablaze with regret that I wasn't in France and my chucks were kicking the rain from the sidewalk. I got in my car, lit a smoking tobacco nightmare and drove home stiff like wrought iron, swearing at vehicles with their indicators on. I'm going to have another fag now. Yuck. You know you just have to learn that you can't always have what you want. Even though it's pays to never settle for second best, sometimes there just is no other option. And you have to live with it. Or you take a risk. Find electricty. Charge you heart towards something new. Maybe that's my next direction. The other way. I don't know. But the more I think of what I have missed out on, the more I want it. Damn Aries trait. Chasing the thrill as always.

I blame the man at number 32 for erecting his cottage trellis at 7 in the morning. Banging inconsiderately with merry. What a dick. Beetroot sandwich on the windscreen again for him then.