The spirals have begun again. Spiral in. Spiral up. Spiral down. As if the wieght of swearing to myself that i wouldn't contact you wasn't bending my back enough, now the weight of folding and needing your attention and getting a little is bounding and drenching. and then i told you how much i crave you. how i would die for you. how the fragrant veil over my eyes steams the scent of lust and everything poisonous in its breadth. to hear your voice today. my heart pounding out of my lips, spilling into the air with all of the energy i've been sending you. as i slip away at night the excitement and desire are absolute, it burns through my soul, through my lungs, through my flesh. it beads down my chest, onto my stomach and i'm trembling for you. i'm shaking and entirely naked for you. and i smoulder in between the shiverring sheets, in complete untidy fantasy, imagining how to feel you close to me. closer than i've ever known before. the closest physically and mentally achievable. wet on my body. i can feel your heartbeat on my breasts. sliding your hands down my sides, you're stronger than me. pressing your body onto mine against the cupboard door. heating up. the room is dark and the neon light still flickering from last year through the blinds. finding my lips you show me how much you love me with your tongue then bite my bottom lip until it bleeds, rolling my neck back and driving me insane with your breath. unbutton my shirt, and throw it to the floor. you can't keep your hands off me and our kiss sparks up the room. my skirt now lays beside my shirt, ripped. handling my legs with despair and pulling me into you, tight. desperate. you lift me onto your pelvis and carry me to the floor and we fall carelessly. you are naked too. running your index finger from my ankles to inside my thighs and watching me squirm. biting the hair on my thigh. sliding both of your hands underneath my ass and lifting me to your lips. looking into my eyes, controlling my emotions. i'm begging you. you are going crazy too. you cannot wait. you are stinging all over. you cannot believe this is so intense. clenching my hips with your wet palms. taking me higher and higher and higher and stopping. and i'm wild and can't hear anything. i cannot bare it anymore. you are dripping with sweat and have almost gotten too high yourself. like the biggest explosion on earth i need you this way. through me. insdie me. consuming me. in our clouds. lit by our moon. together in our world. making our music. creating life. away for ever. stronger than titanium. softer than a kitten. bigger than religion. calmer than the ocean. brighter than the sun. i'm so in love with you. my heart is breaking. it's aching every last breath i take. every moment i am awake. they say it takes a few months to grieve death. there are many stages to go through. it's only been a week. one whole week.
if i can conquer this, i can do anything.
i want you so much you may aswel be dead
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